


What It Is To Be Upgraded

by Walsingham



Category: Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Character Death, M/M, One Shot, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-29
Updated: 2012-05-29
Packaged: 2017-11-06 05:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/415409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walsingham/pseuds/Walsingham
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naboo has told Bollo that he has to be upgraded completely because he doesn't recieve wireless Broadband. Bollo is enraged and takes it out on Vince. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What It Is To Be Upgraded

   Howard Moon ran to Bollo's enclosure, panting heavily. His muscles were yelling at him to stop, but Vince Noir's cries were enough to push him on. Howard ran into the gate of Bollo's enclosure and wrapped his fingers around the wire that made up the gate. The lock had been torn off, and, somehow, Bollo had wrapped thick wire around the gate and the frame, so it was unable to be opened.

   Howard rattled the gate, yelling at Bollo, but Bollo didn't listen, and kept advancing on Vince, who was cowering in a corner, blood dripping from his nose onto his zoo keeper uniform.

   Bollo turned his head towards Howard, just for a moment, but the look in his eyes made Howard freeze.

   There was no way to describe the look in Bollo's eyes. It was beyond angry, and well beyond insane.

   Then his focus was back on Vince, and Bollo's hand connected with his face. Vince's head _thunked_   against the wall, and he was unconscious. For Howard, the world seemed to slow down as Bollo pulled Vince's limp form off the ground by the front of his uniform and held him so that one simple movement would ensure Vince's death from a broken neck, and turned to face Howard.

   Vince's eyes fluttered open as he regained consciousness. He took in the strong, hairy grip around his neck, and Howard trying to break the gate down to get to him, tears streaming down his face. Vince clawed at Bollo's arm with glittery fingernails, but all that did was make Bollo tighten his grip.

   "Bollo, why?" Howard choked out between his tears.

   "Naboo wants to upgrade me, to get the new Familiar five-hundred, just because I don't get wireless Broadband!" Bollo growled in his dep voice.

   "He's upgraded you before, when you didn't play chess. Now you do, and nothing else has changed! And why are you taking it out on Vince?" Howard said, struggling to keep his voice even. Bollo moved his arms and Vince let out a short yell as his neck cracked.

   "He'd need to replace me completely! Last time, all he did was install another app. This time, I'll need a complete upgrade, they don't do my model any more. It'd be cheaper just to get a whole new Familiar! Vince saw I was upset after Naboo came and told me, and he made a _joke_   about it," Bollo replied, and Vince's neck cracked again, accompanied by a sob.

   "It's Vince! He's not exactly known for his tact," Howard reasoned. "What did he say?"

   Bollo was silent for a moment. Another crack, another sob.

   "He asked if it would be a mod," he finally said. Howard cringed, knowing that simple, tasteless joke had been the last straw of many.

   There was a harmony of cracks and a scream, as Bollo twisted Vince's head around in a single, quick movement, and dropped him to the ground.

   Suddenly, Naboo was standing beside Howard, his left palm snapped up to Bollo, and Bollo was reduced to a small pile of ash. The Shaman didn't say anything as he untwisted the thick wire holding the gate shut, and pushed it open for Howard, who shoved Naboo aside in his hurry to get to Vince.

   He fell to his knees beside Vince's head. Tears cascading down his cheeks, he pulled him into his lap and tried to fix his hair, trying to persuade himself Vince was alive.

   Gradually, Vince's body grew colder and colder, and Howard fisted his hands in Vince's hair, and allowed hot tears to fall onto his best friends twisted and broken neck. Eventually, Naboo came in to sweep away the pile of ash that was once Bollo, and sat beside Howard, not offering pointless words of comfort, just muttering things to himself. Mrs Gideon stumbled in, howling like a wounded animal, and tried to take Vince off Howard so she could hold him, but Howard wouldn't let her. He kept pushing her away, and eventually slapped her, hard.

   "You took him for granted! You never loved him like I did!" she screamed at him as she rubbed her cheek. This time Howard punched her, square on the nose, and felt it break. Clutching her bleeding nose, she scrambled to her feet and ran out of the enclosure, almost tripping over Naboo, who had kept muttering throughout.

   As he stroked the back of Vince's cold hand with his thumb, he thought about was Mrs Gideon had said. She was right about him taking Vince for granted. Howard had always thought it as an odd thing that Vince was always happy, poncho or no poncho, but it had always annoyed him. She was also right when she said he'd never love him like she had, but not in the way she thought.

   Mrs Gideon had loved Vince just on what she knew about him, she didn't know any other Vince than the talented and happy persona he showed.

   Howard knew his other side. The side that showed Vince's quirky nature, his dark mood swings, his crazy ideas, his vanity, and Howard had loved every single bit of him, but he never knew it, and now, neither would Vince.

   More than anything, Howard wanted to join Vince, wherever he was, and tell him.

   "What a pity! I'm so, so sorry, Howard," Dixon Bainbridge yelled, not sounding at all sorry, as he leant against the gate frame, shotgun swinging from one hand. Howard made a split-second decision.

   "Bull," he muttered under his breath, and lunged towards the gun. Vince's head gently dropped onto the straw flooring of the enclosure. Howard tugged the gun out of Bainbridge's loose grip and tossed it gently to Naboo, who caught and held it awkwardly. Howard stepped in front of him, hands out wide.

   "Shoot me!" he cried, biting his lip. Naboo looked at him, then at the gun, and nervously aimed the barrel at Howard, but didn't fire.

   "Please," Howard whispered. Naboo heard the desperation in his voice. The Shaman closed his eyes, muttered to himself, pulled the trigger, and Howard was reunited with Vince.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews + concrit always welcomed!  
> xx


End file.
